To text or to talk? Valuing voice to voice communication

A laugh, chuckle, giggle.

A sigh, a groan, and a grumble.

Lip smacking, mumbles, hums.

Whines, howls, mutters, whistles, and shrieks.

We speak, we sing and there is something magical that happens with the sound of our voices leaving our bodies and being received by someone else near or far.  My father had a booming voice. One you could feel in your bones when he called my name all of me knew it. But these days I could go weeks without hearing a soul that is looking to connect with me.

Expressing ourselves verbally means so many things. In the past, our cries as infants communicate our needs for food or love. Even our cooing expressed happiness, curiosity, and joy. We have been hushed being too loud and we have been told to speak up and be heard! But of late we seem to not speak at all.

In the first yoga teacher meet up we were working with props for downward facing dog pose. One of the instructors said, “I don’t use props, I don’t like them and I wasn’t trained with them so I don’t use them or offer them in my classes”.

With all the love in my heart, I reminded him of his first prop that he uses so eloquently….. his voice.

The vibration of the human voice is considered the most powerful healing force of all. The voice is the truest reflection of our inner health and well-being. It expresses the very essence of our nature. It is our life force, our breath with sound added to it. The tonal quality of our voice tells more about us then the words we speak. Our voices effect the cells and molecules of our body and can restore our innate harmony and perfection. – Kate Marks

You see there is a natural release of sound for our actions and our emotions even as adults. But are we denying ourselves love by choosing to text instead of talk? 

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Voice to voice communication can feel really odd these days though. Many people have shared their experiences with people that are text dominant communicators and there is no lack of challenges for either mode of communication. My personal concern is that I am an audible learner and I feel that there are moments I’m just lost in someone’s words because I can’t hear them.

Texting gives us the space to interact in any way we choose but it also can be a way to engage that is the opposite of who you say you are and who you believe yourself to be.  We all have ways of protecting our time and privacy and the easiest thing to do is to purposely engage people with the intention of clarity and a heart for transparency.

Voice to voice communication is healthy for us all. Hearing the sound of your loves voice over the phone can be as calming as a warm bath. Hearing your child’s voice can give you comfort through understanding their energy. Listening to your mom over the phone can give you the feels for how excited you are for your holiday visit.

The comfort of our voices is such a simple love to share. But what has happened to the art of sharing our words from our mouths?

There are weeks I go without hearing the voices of people I love. Without fail though my mother’s voice is what I have daily multiple times a day too! LOL

I’ve grown to appreciate her effort, her energy and her desire to stay connected to me. I tend to be a caller because I want to hear someones voice but they often don’t pick up. Even my kids….they will text me back and I have to force them to pick up the phone LOL

The reality is is that we get one life. We are often hyperengaged so we are texting multiple lines, and communicating on multiple apps and across platforms. We can feel really confident about the volume of communication without recognizing that our relationships are on life support with a few characters and emojis keeping us connected.

It is as if we have taken this societal vow of silence but in that vow, there is also no vow for transparency, clarity, kindness, compassion. Just a vow of silence that serves us.

This means you engage in a way that serves you only, you use your preferred mode of communication to meet your needs while also seeding some anxiety and confusion for those you are connected with.  I’ve been victim to the love vampire and I wrote about that and that is what texting can often feel like. It can feel like someone is stealing something from you….. stealing your time to be exact.

I promise you though there is a mix of perception and intuition that is guiding this feeling. If we aren’t distracted by the many conversations we are having there is an aversion to the conversations or closeness the other person is seeking from us. Thus we use voiceless communication as a strategy to keep people where we want them. We want them close enough to access for ourselves but not so close that they can access us.

We also use texting because it allows us to multi-task and oh we got plans! We got dreams! Who needs to press pause to talk when I can just send a quick text?

Being mindful in life is being purposeful. Slowing down in an era of go go go is not easy. A practice of stopping to talk for 2 minutes can help bring you back to the right now.

Talking can help people avoid misunderstanding your message. Many people misinterpret words because they are lifeless we can increase our understanding by bringing the words out from us and giving them to others with honesty and love.

Speaking can be intimate. Having your lovers voice so close to your ear so clear can be a shock through your soul. Why deny each other such an afternoon delight? A sexy text is one thing…..send a voice text to give them something to feel.

Sharing a true laugh out loud is therapeutic. All the LOL’s couldn’t give you the same joy as hearing the story first hand with giggles and all.

Some people don’t like talking on the phone. It is ok to drop someone a line and say have a wonderful day. I deeply appreciate every single friend who has picked up the phone when I have to walk home I LOVE YOU!!!! Sometimes people can be present on purpose on the phone. For years KP and I rode to work together on the phone chatting about our day and the kids. When the cars parked our call ended. LOL, It was a perfect moment of ending our time together and it was sacred.

So what is the main point of this blog? Well, mostly it is for me to share the reality of having feelings meandering through a complex communication landscape. When we wrap our worth up into how someones engage us it gets even more complex. When people find out others are closer to you because of they legit talk to you….it can get even more complex. Texting isn’t bad, and talking isn’t always necessary. But look to strike a balance in your life and be aware of what your habits are. Be aware of how those habits reflect on you. Be conscious of if those habits are in conflict with who you say you are. Be cautious about believing those habits are unbreakable. Watch for if those habits hurt people you love. Be brave in accepting your communication has costs. Ask yourself how does know this make you feel. Ask yourself what you wish your communication to feel like. Bring that into your heart and plant the seed for your wish to grow. We often can change how our true selves feel to others by unearthing the intention in our acts and energizing our natural ways with the spirit of love. Meaning….with every text you send….send it with love and in love. Be aware as you thumb in each letter and when you hit send know that there is a human receiving it so sends it with its honest energy.

But be careful friends we are not promised the next breath. While the words can live forever on a screen or page. There is an irreplaceable experience of each other if we would simply speak.


Mila K.

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